• Can you have too much sex? The answer here will depend on what kind of sex you are talking about. When it comes to solo sex, you can do this as much as you want depending on your desires and stamina. However, when it comes to sex with a partner, the number of times you have sex, should depend on what you both determine.

    You would need to consider your mutual desires or appetite, your available time while being practical and realistic, the setting/environment that you are in, that is shared or private , as well as your stamina/physical condition. it is important for you to get together and talk about what works for both of you, develop a plan based on the experience you both want to have and not what everyone else is suggesting or reporting that they do. The uniqueness, fulfillment and satisfaction of your sexual experiences should always be determined by what you decide on together.

    Dr Cee: 11/10/2022

  • While hanging out recently with a couple who are friends of mine, I was asked whether it is always necessary to spell out what you want, after being with a partner for what is a decent length of time, in this instance five years. So, if you have watched any of my other videos, you will probably be able to give the correct answer, and what is it? Yes, It is absolutely necessary to express what you want, as this is the only sure way that the right message will be sent.

    But let me go a bit further here because I found out that I didn’t get the full story right away. They got more specific and shared that the issue was related to unspoken sexual expectations. A specific situation was when the female partner got home after a day from hell at work, and a harrowing experience in traffic. After completing all the household responsibilities, she had never felt more relieved to push the start button on the dishwasher as that meant for her that she could finally get into the shower, to enjoy her new body wash, and the warm flow of a very powerful shower. Still celebrating an appreciation for this experience, she had exited the shower, ready to climb into her comfy bed, only to realize that her partner was lying propped up looking at her like he was a delicious snack. As she explained it, given another time she would have appreciated that same look, but not that night. She didn’t have either the energy or the desire. It didn’t help that he promptly reminded her that it was Friday night- as if she could have missed that detail while she had been sitting in traffic for an hour and a half. So how must this be understood? It was clear that the couple had established a routine to have sex on Friday nights, which I readily recognized as the reason for her partner’s unspoken expectation. I can think of some other examples- vacations, regardless of who is present, the quality of the bed, the level of activity in a day, or date nights?

    Hear me well, I am not suggesting that these occasions are not good for having sex, my point however is that regardless of any established routine there should always be a conversation. This doesn’t have be lengthy, but a quiet question or check in: Are you in the mood for sex? and most important, be willing to accept the answer. So, to review the details, it is absolutely necessary to say what you want sexually, and no matter the length of time that you are with someone in a relationship, and even with the routines and schedules that you develop, it is still respectful and necessary to communicate about your desires and intention. These are guaranteed steps to ensure that your partner will feel seen and heard, and you will function based on what you both desire and prefer.

    DrCee: 10/12/2022

  • I have had clients ask me whether it is okay to seek ideas and opinions from other people when addressing their own sexual issues. Here’s how I responded:

    So, how often have you responded to something your partner says or does by saying - my girls /boys don’t agree with that, or I will have to check my girls/guys. Now this might not be a big deal when you are discussing which back splash to use in the kitchen, or which driving mower is the most dependable, but what happens when the conversation is about more intimate details such as: Should we use porn as a turn on? Should we experiment with an open relationship? or How often should we have sex? At some level this might sound like a trivial matter, but I have had too many couples complain that their private business is not being kept private. I don’t want to suggest how couples should manage boundaries in their friendships, but I can say three things about this from experience.

    1. Consistent oversharing with friends will have disastrous results. This practice will encourage the inclusion of other’s opinions in private affairs, and inevitably which result in some disregard for the opinion of you or your partner.

    2. Looking to friends for answers will not challenge you to problem solve as a team, or allow your creative juices to flow in ways that are unique to you and your partner, and can leave you stunted and disconnected in your relationship.

    3. Repetition and practice encourages familiarity and familiarity encourages ease and comfort. So, if you are constantly exploring new sexual ideas, practices or techniques, you stand a greater chance of Finding your Rhythm.

    Let me Recap:

    Do not casually over share- limit the focus on the opinions of friends and acquaintances- those outside your relationship

    Explore ways to enhance your relationship, do fun unique things. Don’t be a copycat.

    Allow yourselves to Find Your Own Rhythm, based on who you are, what you prefer, and what you enjoy.

    CES: 09/30/22

  • Do you remember the last time you were hanging out with your girlfriends and the question came up about how to give your male partners tips on how to improve intimacy in the bedroom? Here are five things that women are saying they wish their men knew about intimacy in the bedroom:

    1. Getting in the mood or getting aroused does not happen like flicking a switch or snapping ones fingers. It takes time, work and intention, a gradual buildup. Patience is highly recommended.

    2. Gentle consistent, confident touch is appreciated unless otherwise stated.

    3. Cleanliness and freshness are encouraged and these can enhance the intimate sexual experience in ways one can hardly imagine. Of particular mention - his nails short, groomed, and free of any hangnails, will greatly reduce the chance of a loud, ‘OUCH,‘ or direction to remove both hands.

    4. Foreplay does not need to be limited to the bedroom, or at night. It can take place at any time and can take any for, so be creative, send an inviting text during the day, helping in cleaning up the house, do the laundry, prepare a meal, attend to the needs of the children, give a massage without being asked. Anything that reduces your partners’ level of stress and tension and leaves them feeling relaxed, will work. These acts pave the way for a grand event, an event which need not be penetrative sex but which can be just cuddling, playing a game, kissing, or something you both decide.

    5. A sex toy is not your rival or nemesis, rather your ally. It takes your partner to heights that admittedly, you are unable to reach. That might be hard for you to hear or accept, but it is the truth. However, there is still space for you to do what a toy cannot do - affirm your partner, and allow her to guide you in the best way to touch, fondle, spank, etc., which will leave her feeling fulfilled.